Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

As a child, I grew up listening to “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”, a 1969 song by B. J. Thomas. My biological parents had given me a toy on an annual visit,that after winding up the dial played the tune. I am not sure if it was the opening lyrics or the memory of unhappy times that I associated with my birth parents, but I always felt melancholic when it rained.I also know that diminishing light can affect our serotonin levels, which a hormone that regulates our moods.  Whatever the reason, life seemed to slow down and getting things done when the skies were grey seemed to be very much a chore for me. On raining days when trapped inside, the first lines of the song certainly resonated. 

“And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed

Nothing seems to fit”

All I want on rainy days is the duvet and some hot chocolate. I can’t even imagine running a country. A little self-care and I revert to my optimistic, normal self. The song writer’s following words best describe my overall outlook.

“But there’s one thing I know

The blues they send to meet me

Won’t defeat me. It won’t be long

Till happiness steps up to greet me”

I know that by being deliberate, I can work on managing the chemical changes in my brain to improve my mood. It got me thinking about which medieval rulers struggled with depression. While I can take an afternoon off to binge on Netflix with the kids or engage in other activities that help with my mental health, I don’t have an entire country to rule. That is a massive responsibility.

Although there are several accounts of medieval rulers who had mental illness, I found Maria I, Queen of Portugal, Brazil and the Algarves to be rather tragic. I have to mention that I had some conflict about including her, as I do not want to reinforce an unhealthy female stereotype while there were so many male monarchs who suffered from mental illness; but as a woman who just this year lost a family member, this Queen’s story really resonated with me. 

Under Maria I’s rule, the Portuguese economy grew and national buildings were constructed and renovated. She was also a woman who loved culture and science. By all accounts, she was a good queen until the range of misfortunes became too much for her to bear. During a tragic three-year period, she suffered a series of devastating losses. Personal loss is something that one of the Queens in my novella “A Mother’s Warning,” knew something about, which makes this snippet of history even more interesting to me.

Queen Maria I’s husband, King Dom Pedro III of Portugal, died in May 1786. Her son Peter died in 1786, the same year as his father, and losing her elder son Joseph was an additional blow in 1788. 

In times of grief and stress, I turn to friends and some of the closer members of my church, so I can imagine the devastating blow she must have felt at the death of the Archbishop of Thessalonica, who was the Queen’s confessor, in 1788. This was in the same year as her son’s death. To compound matters,the terror of the French Revolution (1789-1799) was unfolding. Some 17,000 people were officially executed, and 10,000 had died in prison or without trial. Queen Maria, who dedicated to social works, granted asylum to many French aristocrats who had escaped the terror, but as a woman of sensitivity, the brutality of this period in French history added to her mental strain.

After her mental collapse in January 1792, Maria’s son Joao served as Prince regent. When Napoleon’s armies invaded Portugal in November 1807, Maria left with the rest of the royal family to Brazil, where in 1816, she died at the Carmo Convent in Rio de Janeiro at 81.  

I can’t even imagine what it must be like to lose three family members and two close confidants in a space of less than three years, but it is encouraging that this queen had a support group she could turn to, to get her through this tragic time in her life.

Depression is not something that people can just simply “shake off”. It takes deliberate action to work through this condition. Having family members who have suffered through this as well as having some personal encounters with it myself, ‌I have found that having a strategy for mental health, as it is with most things in life, is critical.  

In my fourth book in my medieval fantasy series, The Tears of the Crystal Heart, I write about depression and substance abuse. While all of my books are fantasy, I believe in the age old method of using storytelling to gain wisdom. 

If you know of someone who is suffering with mental health issues, reach out to them and also to organisations who can help. Too often, people live in silent shame and don’t get the help they need. I hope this article highlights that mental health challenges can affect people from all walks of life and with a strategy and support, they can rise above their challenges.