Do You Fear Criticism?

I wonder how many of us attach our sense of identity to the opinion of others. 

Recently, I read that there are six basic human fears and that when we let these fears control our decisions; we cannot live up to our purpose. One such fear is criticism. It is a fear that many authors suffer from and one reason that they never publish their books. With social media, we have the added fear that someone will broadcast our mistakes to millions and is an added incentive to tuck our dreams away into the “someday” box. 

It made me wonder how many medieval rulers struggled with the fear of criticism or public humiliation. While in modern society, we can unfriend someone or block them from our profiles, medieval rulers who were criticised faced massive political and often life-threatening challenges.

Women, in particular, had the pressure of maternal duty to the crown. Their wombs were a source of rivalry, gossip, and, without the correct management, a weapon that could lead to their banishment or worse. 

The label “barren” for some was even a death sentence. Lovers of medieval history know Henry VIII was a monarch who earned a reputation for being ruthless in his quest for a male heir. He divorced two wives and beheaded another two during his reign.

Maternity is a theme that I use in many of my medieval fantasy books and one of my characters in my medieval fantasy series goes through a period of childlessness. It is not surprising, as in my family and friendship circles, the themes of unplanned pregnancy and barrenness have captured our hearts and formed the basis of much heartache and discussion.

Recently, I came across Tamar the Great, the first woman to rule Georgia in her own right and earned the title mepe (“king”). Tama’s father, King George III, appointed her as heir and co-ruler in 1178. Some of the aristocracy did not take too kindly to her accession to the throne, despite her father grooming her for this role.

It was her first spouse, Rus’ prince Yury Bogolyubsky, who openly criticised her for being childless. According to records, he was both physically and verbally abusive, but Tamar rallied support and in 1188 she got their marriage annulled. Yuri did not take to banishment and exile easily and was involved in more than one rebellion against Queen Tamar.  

The ex-wife of Yury, married a second time and in 1192 Tamar, gave birth to the future George IV of Georgia, who was the first of two children. So much for being barren. In 1193, the Georgian army defeated Yuri Andreevich Bogolyubsky, the ex-husband of Tamar, for good. This doomed marriage was even the inspiration for “The Unfortunate Russian”, a play by Shalva Dadiani, a novelist, playwright, and actor.

What I love about Tamar is that did not claim her first husband’s criticism as her identity and neither did she allow her earlier marriage to taint her new one. By all records, the new couple complemented each other and Queen Tamar is considered one of the greatest of medieval Georgia’s monarchs.

My challenge to you is to look at which areas in your life you fear criticism and then ask yourself if this is your true identity or if, like Queen Tamar, it is only an inciting moment that will lead you through your own hero’s journey.